They shouldn't call me clever
by Tiherina
Summary: They've destroyed him. Pampered him with empty praises behind fancy words." My first attempt at a dark story, a certain Jellicle's feelings of being used, and what happens in the end. Please read and review! Rated for angst.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Cats.**

**A/N: This is my first attempt at a dark story. It's probably not very good, but I thought it would be nice to give it a shot, just to see what people think. Hopefully it should be obvious who it's about.

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They shouldn't call me clever.

Paws shaking, he hid in a spot just outside the junkyard. His small body was wracked with immense pain, and the worst part was, he couldn't control it. His small frame was not meant to hold such agony. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to will it away, but had no control over it; it was taking control of his body, rendering him useless. It was taking control of his mind, convincing him that... that... hatred. He was starting to feel hatred toward his own tribe. They hated him! No... it was only the pain talking. He had no control over himself anymore. He wanted to run, to get away, but it would have been no use. Each time, somehow the pain drew him back toward his family. Each time, it forced him to come back seeking revenge for all the spiteful things they've done to him!

They've destroyed him. Pampered him with empty praises behind fancy words. They looked to him as the shy, yet mischievous one, always with a smile on their faces. Their words fed his ego, making him believe that the songs they sang were true. He danced around with them, always showing off a bit as well, just to gain more empty praises. They disgusted him, those compliments. They never held for long, and soon after the songs were sung, he was left alone feeling bitter and empty. No one would give him the time of day.

The pain always transformed his body, twisting it into a nightmare from his own mind. No one ever recognized him when he snaked around like a horrible beast. He stood there now, staring down at his reflection in a small puddle. His mind had transformed too. With a hellish yowl, he splashed it as he went back, to destroy. He hated them. They never really cared.

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His paws shook even more as he made his descent, his coat sleeker and shinier. They were singing about him again. One would think he only shook from nervousness, but no one would ever think to ask. He hated himself of course, and really didn't want to be doing this. He knew the song was nothing more than empty praises that left him weak, crushed, and sobbing in his den wracked with more pain after it was all over. How could they do this to him? It was always the same, every time! But...they were all looking at him. Maybe this time would be different...

"Presto!" He whispered, using his powers to bring back the light. Every last one of them looked amazed, impressed. The song continued, and he felt his ego being lifted once more. The pain was going away, and he could feel reason to smile again. He pranced around, performing magic tricks. Wanting to laugh, he wondered if they even suspected him. Finally, to give them back what they wanted most, their tribe leader.

The song was ending, and once more he was left feeling bitter. Of course, it was all just for show. They had used him again, and like a fool, he'd taken the bait. Still, he wanted to jump into the comforting arms of his leader. It was the only bit of comfort he ever had to ease the pain.

_Did you know, Old Deuteronomy, as you look into my eyes? Did you know the very cat you hold right now is the same cat that took you?_

_Do you even suspect me, family? That I'm the monster you all hate? I can't help it. I hate you too. But your praises keep me coming back to you, only to crush me and bury me deeper each time._

_Do you even realize that the powers your worst enemy have match mine? How could you all be so stupid? Even Munkustrap, the cat I've always looked up to, until now. I hate him, I hate them all._

He jumped up into the air and made himself disappear. He wanted time alone, to cry, to scream, to try and let the pain out. He hated this cycle more than anything. But there was no way to end it. In the end, it would all be meaningless in the end. No matter what, he'd keep going back. The praises they sung about him made him feel like less of a monster, but they destroyed him, in the end.

_They shouldn't call me clever.

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**Any reviews would be much appreciated! ^^**


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